A Mile Wide and An Inch Deep

Nothing pains me more than having a relationship of mine, whether it is with Aaron, a family member or a friend, to be at odds. I feel out of sorts, discontent and desperate to see that things get set straight. For the longest time I thought that meant that I was to submit to the requests or view point of the other party. But as maturity and my conviction developed I realized that my own requests and viewpoints had merit and at least an ounce of validity to be considered, and some I felt very strongly about. There have been a rare few times that this has had an impact on a relationship of mine. Each of those times has pained me greatly and I still pray for restoration where it is needed.

As my faith grew along with my desire to raise my family in the light and Grace of a journey with Christ, I realized that I had to have strong viewpoints on topics I never before considered to of high importance in my life. But raising children changes one’s thoughts on importance, as well as what life lessons you are going to tackle and when. The more Aaron and I grew the more involved we found ourselves becoming with our first home church. Along with that came the revelation that much like a dysfunctional family, the church family will argue, stomp their feet and refuse to even consider the viewpoint of another on a given topic. Some stand on the foundation of Biblical teaching, others stand on the standards of tradition, life experiences or personal preference. Some of these hissy fits have ended with fingers pointed, words said inflicting pain and done so much damage that it has pushed some out the doors and out of returning to any church.

Since we started our journey I’ve craved to be involved in a church body that I felt was based on biblical foundations and willing to offer the love and grace of Christ to any and all who entered the door and was willing to take Christ outside of the four wall of the building and be the church out in the world. I have craved authentic relationships with fellow believers who are willing to share the journey with us and likewise with others. However, what I have found is more along the lines with the “Mile wide, but an inch deep” model. Churches want to grow in number, yet there is no depth. We’ve attended what is now ranked as the third largest church in the US. So large that I could bye my beloved hazelnut double shot latte add whip as I walked into the service. It was overwhelming to navigate every weekend the parking lot with trams like Disneyland, the elaborate security placement for our children and trying to establish any sort of fellowship with others. We found that they had small group offerings. But even that had a placement process and a waiting list for leadership, geographical and “life experience” compatibility to be settled. For lack of a better analogy it was like E-Harmony for fellowship. But looking back I can see where I achieved the greatest growth. In a small, intimate setting.

Yet I struggle with the establishment of the church today. It seems that the leadership of the denominations are caught up in legalism and establishing doctrine that is based on social issues and what is right for the establishment, rather than teaching believers the foundations of biblical principals and going OUT into the community to reach those who are without faith. More often than not I’ve seen churches simply open the doors and expect people to come in. While it is nice that you put the welcome mat out, it doesn’t mean that people are going to run in on Sunday morning. When one does dare come in the doors they are then bombarded with a little bit of bible that makes them feel like the worst human being ever, offering little to no hope or grace. Then they are told what chicken to buy, what coffee brands to avoid, which cell phone carrier to have, where to buy your shoes and which government agencies that we all need to pray are shut down. Don’t forget to show us your check book so that we can be sure that you are giving enough of your tithe… And did you really wear those shoes to the service? Hmm… inviting.

Where am I going with this? I am not really sure. I do know that there will always be conflict in a body of believers. The biggest reason is simply that we are human capable of independent thought. We reason what we think is right, wrong and how we are going to deal with it. Sometimes it works out and benefits all, other times it doesn’t. What I do know is that I am not done believing in God’s plan for me, my husband, my children or my journey. As I always do, I still now hold fast to the promises that he has kept and trust that he will reveal his perfect plan. He will lead us to a spring of flowing water that will be far deeper than an inch.