There's a gadget for that

When I was a little girl I wanted an easy bake oven so bad. Mom said it would be messy, and she didn't want to have the stress of it. Thinking back, we rarely ever ate at home. Momma worked long hours as did Dad. So most of our meals were take out, or we would hit the local big boy. Once I had a car and a job I followed suit and ate many a meal out with my friends.

I was never handed down the family spatula, or any tried and true family favorite recipe. I knew every In & Out in Southern California though. A house comes with a kitchen, and I really only need it for coffee in the morning and a glass of wine in the evening, right?

My sweet older daughter made our dinner tonight. She had minimal direction and tips from her Dad and I, and it was awesome. I thought to myself that her husband will be so thankful some day that we are giving her the tools she needs to be a successful wife and mother. And then I looked at my poor husband... How did I win him over? It certainly was not with my domestic skills.

We moved into our first place after having lived with my parents while he was on base at Camp Pendleton, followed by living with his parents when we relocated to Chicago and got on our feet. I found myself frozen in the kitchen. How would I feed our now family of 4? How did I get here? How is that I am 24 and I have never really had to cook?

A few months after these gripping questions my first daughter turned one, and I made sure she got an easy bake oven. While she napped I busted that bad boy... er... girl(?) out of the box and studied the instructions. I proudly presented my husband with a spongy thing that resembled a cake with a huge smile. He made a positive noise and he nodded his head and no doubt choked down my offering. This continued for some time.

Pregnant with our youngest son found me craving kettle corn like I would purchase from my home town street fair. hours of research had me jumping, recipe and instructions in hand. My first attempt was an utter disaster. No where in the instructions did it say to put a lid on the popcorn as it cooked in the oil and sugar!! When we moved we still found popcorn as we packed up items in that kitchen.

The Chief is a natural in the kitchen. He can look in a few cupboards and the fridge and create a culinary delight. I can do the same and present a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and be so proud. My obsession to impress my husband with a new found kitchen prowess turned into a hunt. A hunt for kitchen gadgets to help make sense of the demands of some of these recipes that looked like chemistry notes in a foreign language. Did you know that there is a kitchen gadget for everything? I have them! Some I am not sure what they are, but I am convinced that I will need them and will dance around and cheer when I find a recipe that calls for it.

Until then, I will use the gadgets I have, let the Chief be the main chef of our kitchen and pass on what little knowledge I have to my daughters and sons. Maybe they will lucky and marry someone who is a natural around the kitchen like I did. What I do know for sure... They will get lots of kitchen gadgets from me. :)

Sandwich Club/Sandwich

When I was little my Momma and I lived with my Grandparents. Since my Grandparents were retired I spent my days with them until I started Kindergarten. I remember many a lunches consisted of Sandwiches. Now Grandma and Grandpa were Great Depressionists, so it was one sandwich in particular: Bologna with a slice of American cheese on Top Ramen bread. To this day I am not a fan of bologna and I never buy it. I am more of a turkey and avocado girl. I've even learned to make a mean Panini! Now I am learning about a difference kind of sandwich, a generational sandwich. The Chief and I are now the care givers for my dad as well as our growing children. While some days are easy and some are hard it has been rather interesting as we have all settled into our multigenerational household style. There are tons of books on parenting, and tons of books on aging. I wish there was a handbook on how to raise them all in the same house. I have tried to refer to pop culture for help. There were the Walton's. And we do live on a farm of sorts... and we have a lot of kids... We are just a little more edgy than that. There is a show on now a days about a family that has 4 generations in the house. The parents and their grown son are raising his child. Their, "MawMaw" is senile and provides all sorts of comedic situations with her antics. While the show is a completely scripted situational comedy, it has some truth to those of us in that season of life. When we had little ones There were car seats, baby gates, little bath tubs and walkers. Now with Dad and his knee replacement, there are handicap plaques for the car, ramps, shower chairs, a different kind of walker and canes. As more of my friends are joining the ranks of the sandwich club... or is it a club sandwich? Either way, I think there should be a registry at Walgreens, a sort of "Sandwich Shower" like a baby shower for those of us who are blessed with caring for a parent. Until the how-to books come out and I get to have a shower, I will just have to settle with trial and error. And if you've got Mom and/or Dad at home along with your growing Indians, welcome to the Sandwich club... I mean Club Sandwich.

Lessons From A Life Other Than Ordinary

My first Memories of Aunt Vera are of my excitement of her impending visit to our family home. My Momma, Sister and I lived with my Grandparents. My Grandfathers younger Sister, Vera was due to visit and my mom had told me all I, as a 4 year old, needed to know. Aunt Vera liked animals, treats and coloring. To that 4 year old girl, Vera was everything that was expected. She loved animals of all kinds, loved a bowl of ice cream after dinner as much as I did, and she colored many a pages from my coloring book with me. It was like I had my own play mate. I always enjoyed her visits, and looked forward to them. But as I grew and learned new things, I realized that Vera was still the same. I asked my mom why Vera still colored pictures and didn't write words like I did when she knew her alphabet and would sit and practice with me on previous visits. It was then that I learned big words akin to, "Disabled, Handicapped, Mental Retardation".

When Vera was a small girl, she was in an accident that caused traumatic brain injury and rendered her mentally disabled and developmentally frozen at that age. While Aunt Vera was every bit a woman in her early 50's, she had all the nuances of my kindergarten counterparts. As I grew she was a fixture at holiday get togethers and visited often. There were trips to the zoo, and to the park. Her presence in my family never seemed odd to me. In fact her presence taught me some precious lessons on life. Lessons that I wonder if I could have ever attainted had she been what society would deem as normal or typical.

Vera was devoted to her family. She would see no wrong in anyone that she loved. She adored my Grandfather, her Wayne. So much so that she was jealous of my grandmother when they married and like a child who just got a new stepmom, she gave my Grandma a run for her money for a time. But Grandma always saw to it that Vera was taken care of, shown love and a part of family traditions. Vera loved animals, and would probably give a home to every stray if only she could. Since she was not able to, she had a vast collection of stuffed animals. Vera loved people too. I don't think she ever saw people for the color, social status, or ability. She simply saw a potential friend. Vera was generous, with her friends and family and her unconditional love. She had a child like innocence to life, love and forgiveness. She could throw a temper tantrum in four year old style, and eat like a teenage boy, but she was always like Sunshine.

Vera taught me that people with disabilities are anything but disabled. They are very able to do so much more. The societal expectations of the time would have been for her to be institutionalized with a total loss of contact from her family. After all, in those days people with disabilities like hers were viewed of having no value to society. But rather, her family kept her close and included. Allowed her to go a group home where she was able to work and have the independence she was capable of in an environment that allowed her to safely. Her presence in my life gave me a heart for people with abilities different from mine. It brought a patience and compassion that I'm not sure I would have without my experiences with her. I may never, in my lifetime be able to answer the question of why accidents happen like the one that affected her. But what I do know is that God had a plan for her. She survived and thrived despite the medical challenges of the time.

Vera Whitehouse passed in the early hours of the morning today. We were told that she spoke of her favorite brother, our Grandfather. She lived a full and happy life of 84 years. And her presence in my family enriched us all in a very personal and amazing way. I have no doubt that there was quite a reunion in the heavens. She is restored and again with those she adored, her brothers, sister, mother, father, my Momma and her brother. I am thankful to you, Vera for the blessing of Lessons from a life other than ordinary.