Lessons From A Life Other Than Ordinary

My first Memories of Aunt Vera are of my excitement of her impending visit to our family home. My Momma, Sister and I lived with my Grandparents. My Grandfathers younger Sister, Vera was due to visit and my mom had told me all I, as a 4 year old, needed to know. Aunt Vera liked animals, treats and coloring. To that 4 year old girl, Vera was everything that was expected. She loved animals of all kinds, loved a bowl of ice cream after dinner as much as I did, and she colored many a pages from my coloring book with me. It was like I had my own play mate. I always enjoyed her visits, and looked forward to them. But as I grew and learned new things, I realized that Vera was still the same. I asked my mom why Vera still colored pictures and didn't write words like I did when she knew her alphabet and would sit and practice with me on previous visits. It was then that I learned big words akin to, "Disabled, Handicapped, Mental Retardation".

When Vera was a small girl, she was in an accident that caused traumatic brain injury and rendered her mentally disabled and developmentally frozen at that age. While Aunt Vera was every bit a woman in her early 50's, she had all the nuances of my kindergarten counterparts. As I grew she was a fixture at holiday get togethers and visited often. There were trips to the zoo, and to the park. Her presence in my family never seemed odd to me. In fact her presence taught me some precious lessons on life. Lessons that I wonder if I could have ever attainted had she been what society would deem as normal or typical.

Vera was devoted to her family. She would see no wrong in anyone that she loved. She adored my Grandfather, her Wayne. So much so that she was jealous of my grandmother when they married and like a child who just got a new stepmom, she gave my Grandma a run for her money for a time. But Grandma always saw to it that Vera was taken care of, shown love and a part of family traditions. Vera loved animals, and would probably give a home to every stray if only she could. Since she was not able to, she had a vast collection of stuffed animals. Vera loved people too. I don't think she ever saw people for the color, social status, or ability. She simply saw a potential friend. Vera was generous, with her friends and family and her unconditional love. She had a child like innocence to life, love and forgiveness. She could throw a temper tantrum in four year old style, and eat like a teenage boy, but she was always like Sunshine.

Vera taught me that people with disabilities are anything but disabled. They are very able to do so much more. The societal expectations of the time would have been for her to be institutionalized with a total loss of contact from her family. After all, in those days people with disabilities like hers were viewed of having no value to society. But rather, her family kept her close and included. Allowed her to go a group home where she was able to work and have the independence she was capable of in an environment that allowed her to safely. Her presence in my life gave me a heart for people with abilities different from mine. It brought a patience and compassion that I'm not sure I would have without my experiences with her. I may never, in my lifetime be able to answer the question of why accidents happen like the one that affected her. But what I do know is that God had a plan for her. She survived and thrived despite the medical challenges of the time.

Vera Whitehouse passed in the early hours of the morning today. We were told that she spoke of her favorite brother, our Grandfather. She lived a full and happy life of 84 years. And her presence in my family enriched us all in a very personal and amazing way. I have no doubt that there was quite a reunion in the heavens. She is restored and again with those she adored, her brothers, sister, mother, father, my Momma and her brother. I am thankful to you, Vera for the blessing of Lessons from a life other than ordinary.