A Big Wednesday, "What's up with that!?"

So yes, I must confess. Things have not been copacetic around the reservation. Why? Well....

* The sun has forgotten that Ohio exists. I would love to have some freakin sunlight! I am of half the mind to go to a tanning bed just to get some artificial warmth and glow to my skin to make me feel like I live on the planet earth! However the other half that has all the reason and logic says, "No way, girlfriend! You admit girls your age with skin cancer!" Dangnabbit!

* Being an adult sucks. Big Time!! I am realizing that no matter how hard I try, grasping with my finger nails... I am not going to be this young energetic spark forever. My children are growing, and growing and growing. They are becoming mini adults and making more mature choices at every turn. Those that I love are aging and it is requiring some very adult choices and actions. Interestingly enough I work within a community that is geared towards making the end of ones life to be filled with mercy, dignity and compassion. I see it in action daily. But I was ill prepared as to how it would impact my world when it came time to consider the multitude of options from the other side of the table. This has also prompted me to consider how I want my children to handle, or not have to handle so much if I, or the Chief were to be the ones in need of such skilled care. Being an adult means you lawyer up and take care of business, so that you can sleep better at night knowing that you may still look like you're in your 20's *cough cough* but you have the wisdom of a 34 year old.

* I have been in desperate need of some awesome belly laughs, and peace. I believe in the power of laughter to overshadow the darkness. Currently there are several things going on to make me feel that the ever present darkness is upon me, and I've been all Eyore about it too. With the lack of sunshine and the dark twisty stuff I've all but hung my head in said, "Oh bother..." But I have been blessed with some amazing friends who have impeccable timing and inspiriting words. Some are a comfort, while others are just entertaining. In my house it is well known that if Mama is in a bad mood, or any mood for that matter. You can either hug me, or make me laugh and all is right. Because the saying is true, "If Mama ain't happy.... ain't no on happy"!! So, if you are responsible for the result of me smiling or laughing. I am grateful for your heart and your efforts.


I know that there is mercy in the trail. I've received it before, and I know that it will be provided to me again. I believe in the sun, even though it's not shining. I believe that I am surrounded by love, light and truth. I believe that I will weather this storm, and I hope that soon I'll be able to catch my breath while I am enjoying a fruity umbrella drink basking in the sun.