Why I accept (with a smile) what looks like more than I can handle.

Have you ever had someone say something that just struck you? You could totally relate to it, embrace it, put it into practice and run with it. Yeah, I had a moment like that this week. There were several statements that I have found myself pondering for the past few days. They wanted to know how I can handle all of my trails with a smile. That while it seemed like some only got a little sprinkle, it seemed that I was always standing in a storm. She wished that people would stop telling her that God wouldn’t give her more than she could handle. I too have found myself wanting to smack some sense into a few people for the cliche myself. But I suppose there is some truth to it as much as I want to see it stricken from the, “Big book of cheesy phrases”.

I realize I am not the only person who deals with the storms, trials and roadblocks in life. How do I know that, because I see it every day, I work for one of the largest Hospice organizations in the country. I have people share with me what is going on in their lives. The good, the bad and the outright ugly. I am praying for redemption, reconciliation, mercy, healing and even miracles that are God’s will to move in the lives of people I care deeply about. And while I do petition for others to pray for me and/or my little family, I try to keep the heavy stuff to a minimum. I have a handful of people who I go to with the biggies. I am not immune to having pity parties. In fact, I had quite a big pity party a week ago. However, I have been trying to keep my focus on the anticipation, rather than the disappointment.

What precipitated my pity party? Well, this summer was short and full of chaos. My mom has been in the hospital more than she has been out. With her condition deteriorating she was referred to Hospice Services. Along with this comes a set of concerns, and finding the ability to accept the fact that I have no control. We had some catastrophic vehicle issues that resulted in us purchasing a car sooner than we were prepared for. Of course there was more to it all, and we had lawyers, mitigators and settlements, but in the end the whole process was stressful. And to round out my trifecta, my older daughter, Madie is now facing the daunting task of physical therapy, and who knows what else due to something that was far more substantial than the pulled muscle we thought it was. Let me tally that, my mom is dying, my car did die and lastly, my daughter is being benched for who knows how long and is going to require grueling physical therapy to stave off pain and permanent damage to her spine when I thought she pulled a muscle.... Yuck.

How can I smile through this storm? I was reminded of God’s unwavering mercy through each of these trials. My bible has the word Mercy 67 times. I am sure it would be in the hundreds if I were to count it’s other forms such as lovingkindness, sympathy and compassion. I have been shown mercy in many forms by many, but I was reminded that all these great gifts come from above. In looking at the my trifecta storm of this summer, I found that God’s love and mercy is all over me. Each of these circumstances had the potential to destroy me in some form or another.

Yes, my mom is very ill, but his mercy is working through this. How can it be? Well, as hard as it is to accept that my mom is reaching the final stage of life, she has found a way to accept her illness. She is receiving amazing care that is keeping her comfortable, making her care easier on my dad and easy on their finances. If she had decided to not accept the reality of her illness, than this could be far more difficult than it is. In my prayer for his will to be revealed I know that total healing is not realistic. However, He is showing me that His mercy and love is at work. I am in anticipation to see how he can further use this experience for his glory. My relationship with my mom has been strained, and this is providing us a new line of communication. I find myself smiling remembering moments that were long forgotten that are becoming cherished. For I hope that one day those cherished memories outweigh the ones I pray I forgive and forget.

Luke 1:50 His mercy is from generation to generation on those who fear Him.


Yes, my beloved truck was expected to last long enough to be handed down to our oldest. Even our mechanic said that we were just breaking the engine in, yet was cut down in it’s prime unexpectedly. We soon discovered that while the rest of the truck could go for years on end, Honda did not take proper care in assembling the frame. But I praised God for his love and mercy when it was revealed just how catastrophic the results could have been. How can it be? On the Monday that the truck met it’s fate, Aaron decided that rather than shuffle the truck out of his way in the parking lot, he would just take it to work. I had expressed that I had no plans to go anywhere so off he went. On his way home he turned onto a road a block away from ours and that is when the suspension bracket detached. He lost control of the steering, but managed to get the truck to come to a stop. The body came to rest on the back tires since the suspension was no longer supported by the frame. We had to have it towed to a Honda dealer to see what the next step was. What unfolded was a 7 week process to discover that Honda had not properly sealed the frame and suspension from corrosion. There is a recall in a handful of states that use salt brine to treat the roads for snow and ice, Ohio being one of them. We were informed that due to extensive damage Honda would be buying back my truck to have it destroyed.

So how can having my perfectly fine (aside from the rust) completely paid for truck being taken to be destroyed a mercy from God? I commute 33 miles one way to Northern Kentucky. The route I take has less traffic and I prefer a scenic drive rather than all business district and highway. However, it is winding, and there are dips and creeks and drop offs to the sides here and there. Had Aaron not taken the truck to work, it could have easily have detached on a curve in one of the roads I take. If the result is loss of control, I would have had no where to go but into a ravine, or a tree, or worse, into an oncoming car. God granted us further Mercies by making it so that we could find a way to replace my truck. We were able to pay off our current loan on our minivan, and have a down payment for a newer vehicle with what Honda settled for in the buy back process. In fact we received more in the buy back than what we paid for the truck three years prior. I smile because I know God showed me great Mercy. And I may have received another small lesson in patience through it as well.

Lamentations 3:22-24 Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness! I say: The Lord is my portion. therefore I will my hope in Him.


I think all parents worry. I was born a worrier, and my children have only served to add to the advancement of my (very) premature grey hair. However, I try to keep a balance of what I am going to worry about, and to what extent I am going to push an issue. I have found that over time I am in near constant prayer for the Lord’s will, grace, mercy, love and direction to cover my children. They have come with their fair share of needs and medical mysteries. My older daughter, Madie had started complaining of back pain. We assumed that she had strained a muscle somehow between riding coasters at Kings Island, running 2 miles and then having soccer practice. It seemed that it only got worse and she complained more. One day she was having a hard time even getting around the house. Our pediatrician suspected that one leg might be shorter than the other and referred us to the orthopedic clinic at childrens. While I was expecting some orthotics for her shoes to balance her out while she continued to grow and balance out, I was instead told that there is a 21 degree curve in her spine. Due to her pain she is on restricted activity, she is doing physical therapy and hopefully that will help with managing her pain.

To say I was in shock was putting it lightly. While I have a level of worry that Madie has a long road ahead of her I am reminded of the other times in my parenting journey that I felt that I had the wind knocked out of me. Our oldest was born legally blind and we have come a long way on a road that was full of set backs, frustration and countless consultations with specialists. The hard work has paid off, Jake is now able to play sports and is excited for his first contact lens consultation this week. A far distance from the first news that we should just take him to the Center for the blind in Chicago! Noah has faced many challenges in his 10 years thus far. He has undergone 6 surgeries between lacrimal duct implants, repairs, hypospadias repair and having his adenoids and tonsils out. He has overcome RSV and the ongoing effects of it on his respiratory system. And more common knowledge is his ongoing journey with Asperger’s Syndrome, an Autism spectrum disorder. The day we got the diagnosis I was both relieved and scared. Relieved that we finally had an answer to Noah’s behavior, yet I was scared to death that I would never be able to handle the journey ahead. We still have rough days, but when we hit a bump in the road I look back and remember the huge mountains we have faced previously. Noah has come very far from the 5 year old who would refuse to wear all but two of his shirts, would never wear his shoes and would have world record tantrums that had local police asking if they could be of assistance.

Psalms 145:9 The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.

Where am I going with all this gloom and doom? Can’t you see the blessing in all of these trials? Can’t you see the grace of God in each of these journeys? Jake could have been born with no chance for improvement... Jake could not have responded as well to treatments and could require more assistive devices... Noah could have incurred infections that impacted his vision... Noah could have required more reconstructed surgery... We could still be in intensive therapies than we ever were had his function declined within the spectrum if we had not caught it earlier. Annika wears only inserts as opposed to the full calf braces she would need had we not gotten her in sooner for the pronation of her feet. Madie and Noah could still be suffering from pneumonia every fall like they did had we not kept pushing for respiratory therapies that were effective. God has been loving and given us lighter burdens in situations that could have had heavier implications. And God knows what Madie needs through this trial as well. Her spine has a curve, yet it does not twist like most with scoliosis do. So this would have missed repeatedly in her physicals. I am thankful that it was caught as soon as it was so that we could use non-invasive methods to help her. this could have gone unnoticed, resulting in surgery.

When I was asked how I can endure all of this and still have a smile, I had to think of why that was. It just seems automatic to me. God has blessed me with the task of raising these four amazing little beings. They are His gift, His children and he granted me intuition to know when to freak out and when to relax. It is still developing, but my grasp of it improves with each trial we face. So the phrase, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” is still my least favorite. But I believe that God makes sure that you don’t have to handle more than you are capable of. He provides amazing mercies so that you do not have to endure trails as severe as life would like to throw at you. He has intervened so many times through my journey and provided me with grace to overcome. I can see where each of these storms could have easily destroyed me, yet he granted mercy and softened the impact. Others may just get the sprinkles, while it may appear I am in the midst of a hurricane. Perhaps God knows that those who get the sprinkles can’t handle any more than that? Perhaps God knows of an inner strength in me that I have yet to comprehend? God has used every trial in my life to grow me, mature me, teach me and each has been used to glorify His kingdom. I will still have moments of exhaustion, and will want to have mini pity parties. I think that is human. But, what I do know is that God is faithful and he is standing in the storm with me (even when I have to take a moment to sit down), how can I not smile with anticipation for what He is going to reveal? :)


Isaiah 25:1 Yahweh, You are my God; I will exalt You. I will praise Your name, for You have accomplished wonders, plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness.