What to remember and what to forget

I'm a girl of details. I need a plan, I need to see what the objective is, and see a detailed course of action on how it is to be completed. Success is in the little details, that combined create the whole of what is to be complete. If I picture a room that I want to decorate, I see it in my head and then I go on a mission to procure every little detail of that room until is a complete representation of what I pictured. I am always striving to remember the details. Remember recipes, movie lines, my kids PR times, the Blackhawks season record, what my Momma's favorite movie was, the color of her hair and the sound of her voice, every car my dad restored, when to get my oil changed, who needs to take what pill when, the burning edge of the hole I feel with the loss of too many too soon. I've been afraid that if I forget a detail, I will lose everything. Perhaps there are somethings that need to be forgotten in order to move on? I've watched my Dad struggle to remember details daily. Some have been minor, like when he had seen me last. He swears it's been days, when I visit him daily, sometimes twice or three times. Other details have been much larger and harder to witness. One day he could not identify my Mom in a picture of the two of them. It broke my heart as anyone who knows my parents, knows that my dad was completely devoted to my Mom. He adored her and she was his world. But in that moment he could not remember the pain and anguish he has been suffering with her loss. He didn't feel the burning edges of the hole. In a selfish, twisted way, I envy those moments he had. As we continue this journey of details, remembering, and forgetting, I will have to learn to accept my position as the keeper of the memories. I will gladly carry in remembrance the details of what is being forgotten. I will cherish and adore the memories of love and laughter, the details that we used to overcome and carry on, and if I must remember the sting of singed, smoldering hole of what's been lost. Then I hope and pray that the pain stretches me so that I may grow to use it to the betterment of myself, and those that I love. I will accept the forgotten memories as a blessing of mercy.